Toronto, Ontario -- Dear Santa, it’s Christmas Eve and the shop is quiet in a way that feels suspicious.
The compressor is off. Even the estimating software has stopped yelling at me for updates.
Before I lock up for the night, I figured I’d write you a letter — because if anyone understands unrealistic timelines, impossible expectations and last-minute miracles, it’s you.
First on my list: more technicians.
If you’ve got a few of those hanging around the North Pole, I’ll clear out a bay. We’ll even label it “Elf Training Area” if that helps with recruitment.
Second: faster parts delivery.
I don’t need teleportation — though I won’t say no. I’d just like parts to arrive before a vehicle ages into a classic. If a bumper cover could make it here without visiting three depots, two provinces and one mysterious location labelled “in transit,” that would feel downright festive. Bonus points if the box actually contains all the parts listed on the invoice.
Third: a coffee machine that never runs out.
Because, Santa, if we survive December without a single tech mutiny over lukewarm coffee, it will be nothing short of a miracle.
Fourth: a scanner that actually talks human.
If it could just explain itself in plain English instead of error codes that sound like robot insults, the holidays would be a lot calmer.
We’ll do our part. We’ll keep fixing increasingly complicated vehicles with increasingly small margins. We’ll keep training, adapting and pretending we’re not tired until January hits.
Just help us get through the season.
The shop lights will be left on low tonight — in case you need a place to park the sleigh. Please don’t block the tow lane.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
— A shop owner who believes in miracles, but would settle for parts by Tuesday
